My nostrils were burning. The smell of 50 sweat-soaked young warriors wrestling in a cramped church basement juxtaposed the crisp, fresh air outside on this February morning. Before me, two 6-year-old boys waged war on one another atop a weathered, royal blue mat. They had been in an untimed scrimmage that had lasted 9 minutes already, and they were beyond weary.

One of the boys, a blond-haired kid with several missing front teeth and loose-fitting headgear that kept slipping over his face like a blindfold, was pulling on his opponent with all his might to flip him over, but his efforts were in vain. Exhausted and frustrated, teardrops began dancing amongst the beads of sweat on his cheeks as the young warrior tapped into the depths of his soul—determined to give his all. 

As the boy’s father, I can only describe it as a holy moment. A lion was rising in his heart before my very eyes—if only he could see it like I could. I cheered him on as I witnessed his character being forged by his fortitude to persevere. 

Experiencing my son’s “man in the arena” moment was both inspiring and convicting. As men, war is in our DNA. But, how many invitations to compete for glorious victory—or noble defeat—do we refuse due to a fear of failure, discomfort, or humiliation? How often do we give up too quickly, or even worse–before we even begin?

It’s time for men to reclaim the masculine trait of perseverance. 

What is Perseverance?

Perseverance is a mindset that refuses to be defeated when facing adversity. With focus, patience, and intensity, a persevering man steadfastly pushes forward, regardless of how many obstacles and delays he faces before achieving success. 

This attitude does not view obstacles, failures, and setbacks as roadblocks but as opportunities to learn and grow stronger, then bounce back to kick-ass and take names. It is perseverance that makes us love underdog stories like Rocky, Rudy, or 300. It’s the spirit of pushing oneself beyond one’s limits to win that prize. 

Author John C. Maxwell wrote that “perseverance draws sweetness out of adversity.” He explained, “The trials and pressures of life and how we face them often define us. Confronted by adversity, many people give up while others rise. How do those who succeed do it? They persevere.”

When is Perseverance Required?

Everyday life is full of problems that require a sustained, resilient, determined effort to persevere. It could be working through marital problems, getting out of debt, recovering from a serious illness, advancing in a career, opening a business (or keeping it open), overcoming addiction, breaking bad habits, working through trauma, dealing with grief, or as simple as losing a few pounds Any endeavor that faces challenges on the road to a successful outcome ultimately requires perseverance. 

How to become More Perseverant

1. Set Goals: Be crystal clear about what you aim to achieve, and when you must achieve it by. Napoleon Hill, author of the classic book Think & Grow Rich called this definiteness of purpose–the starting point of all achievement.
    
2. Be Positive: James Allen wrote, “Act is the blossom of thought, and joy and suffering are its fruits.”  In other words, the direction you are thinking is the direction you are moving. Perseverance starts with your internal conviction of the desired outcome.
   
   
3. Stay Flexible: Be willing to change your strategy. Often, the goal is achievable, but people will give up after only trying one way of reaching the goal. The truth is that there are limitless ways to achieve a goal. Be willing to say “Ok, that didn’t work. What’s next?”
   
   
4. Be Resilient: Learn to view failures and setbacks as part of the process. Don’t let failure damage your pride. Your ego is not your amigo. Remember that if your efforts are not working for you, it’s working on you to make you the person that it will work for. Get up and get back in the race.
   
   
5. Never give up: Stick to your guns. The perseverant man knows what he wants, and is determined to keep fighting no matter how many times he gets knocked down. Boxing legend Muhammad Ali once said, “Success is not achieved by winning all the time. Real success comes when we rise after we fall. Some mountains are higher than others. Some roads are steeper than the next. There are hardships and setbacks but you cannot let them stop you. Even on the steepest road, you must not turn back.”

Thomas Edison: 10,000 Ways Not To Make A Lightbulb

One of the most famous American inventors, Thomas Edison attempted 10,000 prototypes of his electric lightbulb before he had a viable product. Commenting on the failed attempts, Edison said, “I haven’t failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that don’t work.”

Later in life, Edison said, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” He also stated, “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” 

Vinnie Paz: “You don’t understand what kind of man I am“

Vinny Paz, a lightweight and junior middleweight world champion boxer broke his neck in a serious car accident. Doctors informed him he might never walk again and would certainly never fight again. He famously promised that the doctors were wrong and that he would indeed fight again, saying “See, you don’t understand what kind of man I am.”

Pazienza had to wear a medical device called a Halo, a circular metal brace screwed into the skull in four spots and propped up with four metal rods. He had the Halo screwed to his skull for three months, during which time he risked serious injury by maintaining an intense workout regimen against the doctor’s orders.

True to his word, Vinny returned to the ring thirteen months after the accident and defeated middleweight champion Luis Santana by a 10-round decision.

Winston Churchill: “If you’re going through hell, keep on going”

Churchill is now seen as one of history’s greatest leaders, but his career was also full of epic failures. As Secretary of the British Navy during WWI, Churchill commanded an attack on Turkey, leading to a nine-month-long battle that killed a half-million men. The battle was such a humiliating failure to the British, that Churchill was removed from his cabinet position, and banned from being involved any further in the administration of the war. 

Imagine being responsible for that many deaths. Something Churchill greatly regretted later in life, but despite his failure, he went on to become the Prime Minister of the UK and one of the most famous men in history. Churchill said, “Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never–in nothing, great or small, large or petty–-never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”

Summary

Real men practice perseverance in every area of their life. They see obstacles and setbacks as opportunities to mature as they resolve to charge towards their goal. In our comfort-seeking, instant gratification-addicted, short-term-minded culture, a man who perseveres through hard things will stand out in the crowd, and lead a fulfilling and successful life.