You are going to die. It could be today. It could be in 50 years, but it is an absolute, 100% guarantee–nobody gets out of this life alive. 

There is no loophole for the rich. There is no hacking the system for the powerful. There is no science, religion, or technology that defies the reality of our physical deaths.

If you are feeling uncomfortable right now, that’s because we don’t really talk about it. It’s like the elephant in the room, our entire lives. It’s unpleasant. It’s not nice to talk about. It doesn’t “feel good”, but that doesn’t stop it from being true. 

The fear of death is the core driver in most people’s lives…and that’s not good. Ask any psychologist, book publisher, or advertising expert—They’ll tell you that it is fear that drives our decision-making in nearly every area of our lives–our choices in careers, hobbies, friends, meals, the spouses we marry, the cars we drive, the god we worship—

The book of Hebrews describes the fear of death as lifelong slavery. Under the influence of the fear of death, we cease to live as free men—living our lives from our hearts and spirits–instead, we become SLAVES in bondage to compulsive, subconscious risk assessment. We may not be conscious of it, but nearly everything we do is motivated by the avoidance of death. 

Many psychologists now subscribe to the terror management theory— an idea that most fears are connected in some way to the fear of death–where our little fears (like fear of failure, spiders, or public speaking) are actually an expression of how we process the greater fear of our inevitable demise. 

Something I find interesting about the subject of death is how much denial we have about it. 

Most of us try not to think about dying. Do you ever consider how strange it is that death is so normal and certain, yet we find it unbelievably surprising when it happens to someone we know or love? 

It’s interesting in those times, when friends and family pass away, how the reality of our own mortality comes to surfaces like beach ball that was held under water. When it’s released, It pops up with incredible force…and often punches you right in the face. 

One danger I see in suppressing our acceptance of death is that it keeps us ignorant to our real lives. This denial implies would imply that if we don’t think about death, we will live forever. This logic would be like assuming that if we don’t think about paying the mortgage, it will never become due. If we chose to live by that standard, we’d be less motivated to make responsible choices with work and finances. 

The book of Psalms says “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” In order to truly value and make the best of our lives, we need to accept that we have a limited amount of time, and if we believe there is meaning and purpose and mission in our lives–which I can promise you, there is–-then we become clear on how we manage our time and attention, we’ll make choices based on our assignment. We’ll align our lives around the vision we carry. We’ll get serious about God, we’ll get serious about growth, we’ll get become like arrows pointed at a target. 

In 1938, Napoleon Hill wrote a somewhat crazy, but super insightful book called “Outwitting the Devil”. In this book, he claimed to have interviewed the Devil. He was so paranoid about how controversial it was, he was not willing to release it until after he died. The book was released in 2011. 

One of the core ideas in his book was the description of a type of person called a “drifter.” Hill stated that a drifter is a person who has no real direction or ambition. This type of person is most susceptible to the Devils control, as they have nothing to actually live for. I don’t believe that Hill actually interviewed the Devil, but I think the idea has merit. You don’t want to drift through time, you want to be a good steward of the resource of time that you’ve been blessed with. 

That’s why I like the imagery of skulls. They are constant reminders that I’m only clocked-in for a short time to accomplish a specific assignment before I’m abruptly punched out. They also remind me of my faith–that scripture tells me that I died with Christ…that I am now dead to sin and alive to God. It’s actually out of my death with Christ, that I can yield my time for His plans and the purposes, and it’s out of being alive to God that I am animated to walk those plans and purposes out. 

When I was young, I was a drifter. I sort of did what I felt like most of the time. I didn’t always see much meaning in life. Because of that, I partied…hard. I Chainsmoked two packs of Marlboro Reds a day. I didn’t take care of my health, or invest much in my future…because I wasn’t numbering my days. 

Now, I’m older–a bit wiser–no longer a drifter. I love my life, I feel called to specific goals and purposes, and over the last year, I’ve been intentional about numbering my days. In fact, I even settled on a number.

36,525. That’s how many days I desire to live on this earth.

By those numbers, I’m looking at 21,184 remaining days.

I’ll save you the math. That’s a lifetime of 100 years. Thats 58 remaining years.

Some of you have questions. “How do you know you will live 100 years?” 

I don’t. I could die tomorrow for all I know. I yield that part of my life to God. 

But here’s the thing. If you aim for nothing, you’ll hit it every time. 

If I plan to live to be 100, I now have a deadline in mind. This is a helpful thing to have. It helps me narrow my focus and determine almost every activity in my life. If I’m going to live to 100, I’ll need to eat and work out for serious longevity. I don’t want to be 100 with a bad hip, or stuck in a wheelchair, or hooked up to IV’s or ventilators, or missing all my teeth. I have to make decisions now that will enable me to live well until I hit that century. This idea will have to apply to ever corner of my life. 

If I’m intentional about reaching 100, then strategic thinking will apply to every area of my life. I want to die with many loving relationships, having loved and served my wife faithfully, a rich spiritual and financial inheritance for my children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, I want to have discipled many men in the gospel, to have developed into a strong leader who built up more leaders, and to finish my race strong.

Now, yesterday I was thinking and praying about this and I realized something. I always hear the super-wealthy or highly successful people say that a key to accomplishment is writing down your goal or vision. I do this for short-term goals, but I’d never done it as a way of summarizing a vision for my entire life. That’s pretty intense. 

Without thinking much of it, I got out a piece of paper and pen, and I began writing my obituary. Yes, my obituary. If I am going to come into a healthy acceptance of death–and I know that it is wise to clearly define the end goal—why not write out the obituary that I would desire to see written about me?

So I wrote down my name…(feels morbid)….

Then I wrote Parentheses-1982-dash-2082-Parentheses….(so weird).

But then…I started to write the good stuff….the story of my (still unlived) life. I dreamed. I accepted possibilities. I smiled. I cried some happy tears. I felt the value I hold for my loved ones, I looked out over generations of fruit that will come from a dead tree named Richard. It was an amazing experience. I have never felt so much clarity and focus as I did in that moment.

I also I felt the fear of death leaving me. If I believe that my life ends at 100, and I have a sense of purpose, and I am clear on the direction I’m heading in between now and then—what do I have to be afraid of in the meantime? Carpe Diem baby!

So listen, If you feel like a drifter sometimes, if you desire more clarity and intentionality, I want to recommend you try this… but one thing. Invite God into it. Ask the Spirit to breathe on your time. 

Proverbs says “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will keep your path straight”

–and that’s what this is about….your path. So acknowledge Him. Ask Him to help you count your days. 

Enjoy your experience of writing out your obituary. Keep it light and full of the good stuff that you truly desire to fill your life with.